Can you read these right the first time?1) The bandage was
wound around the
wound.
2) The farm was used to
produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to
refuse more
refuse.
4)We must
polish the
Polish furniture.
5) He could
lead if he would get the
lead out.
6) The soldier decided to
desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the
present, he thought it was time to
present the
present.
8) A
bass was painted on the head of the
bass drum.
9) When shot at, the
dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not
object to the
object./11) The insurance was
invalid for the
invalid.12) There was a
row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
13) They were to
close to the door to
close it.
14) The buck
does funny things when the
does are present.
15) A seamstress and a
sewer fell down into a
sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taght his
sow to
sow.17) The
wind was to strong to
wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the
tear in the painting I shed a
tear.
19) I had to
subject the
subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I
intimate this to my most
intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore it's paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be commited to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" ryme with "quick."
and another...
Here's our Mama Cat and Jonathan Staring at her with his Spidey eyes.
Hey, give her a brake! This is her third batch of kittens!
I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. ??Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!?? 
It was too hot I guess.
Drinking & Driving don't mix.
That's Just Weird.
I like this one a lot!
Pretty Cool.
The Prayer at Valley Forge
